Monday, March 5, 2007

Written by Albert 4/21/1943

By the time the doctor arrived, the climax of
my despondent condition had already passed. My
laboratory assistant informed him about my self-
experiment, as I myself was not yet able to
formulate a coherent sentence. He shook his head
in perplexity, after my attempts to describe the
mortal danger that threatened my body. He could
detect no abnormal symptoms other than extremely
dilated pupils. Pulse, blood pressure, breathing
were all normal. He saw no reason to prescribe
any medication. Instead he conveyed me to my bed
and stood watch over me. Slowly I came back from
a weird, unfamiliar world to reassuring everyday
reality. The horror softened and gave way to a
feeling of good fortune and gratitude, the more
normal perceptions and thoughts returned, and I
became more confident that the danger of insanity
was conclusively past.

Now, little by little I could begin to enjoy
the unprecedented colors and plays of shapes that
persisted behind my closed eyes. Kaleidoscopic,
fantastic images surged in on me, alternating,
variegated, opening and then closing themselves in
circles and spirals, exploding in colored
fountains, rearranging and hybridizing themselves
in constant flux. It was particularly remarkable
how every acoustic perception, such as the sound
of a door handle or a passing automobile, became
transformed into optical perceptions. Every sound
generated a vividly changing image, with its own
consistent form and color.

Late in the evening my wife returned from
Lucerne. Someone had informed her by telephone
that I was suffering a mysterious breakdown. She
had returned home at once, leaving the children
behind with her parents. By now, I had recovered
myself sufficiently to tell her what had happened.

Exhausted, I then slept, to awake next
morning refreshed, with a clear head, though still
somewhat tired physically. A sensation of well-
being and renewed life flowed through me.
Breakfast tasted delicious and gave me
extraordinary pleasure. When I later walked into
the garden, in which the sun shone now after a
spring rain, everything glistened and sparkled in
fresh light. The world was as if newly created.
All my senses vibrated in a condition of highest
sensitivity, which persisted for the entire day."

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