Old People Phone Calls

I get so tired of old people calling me for no good reason.
My mom calls during a snowstorm.
"I'm hungry, I'm starving!"
"The power's out, my can opener won't work."
I say "Just use the manual kind."
She says "I can't!" "My arthritis is flaring up, I cant turn it."
Then she starts telling me "I don't have any water, the well won't work with no electricity."
So I tell her about how she can drink the water in the back of the toilet.
And she's all "I already flushed it!"
So then I tell her about a can of Pringles in the attic, behind the weight set.
Then she starts screaming about how "That's how I hurt my back in the first place, carrying your weights to the attic!"
"I'm thirsty!"
So I say "Mom, stop being so dramatic, just walk over to my house, you can stay in the garage."
Then she's all
"It's windy and snowing and my walker gets stuck in the drifts."
So now I have to drive five miles to her house to pick her up.
Man, life's not fair!