director: Phil Claydon
writers: Paul Hupfield, Stewart Williams
starring: James Corden, Matthew Horne, Paul McGann
genre: Horror
First let me say that this isn’t a porn film if anybody gets mixed up with the title. Even though it would have probably have been a better film if it actually was a porno. Lesbian Vampire Killers never finds the middle ground between serious and B-movie area and ends up being a very unoriginal horror film.
As the title tells this is the story of 3 people that one day will become Lesbian Vampire Killers. Fletch (James Corden) and Jimmy (Matthew Horne) after uneventful events in there life’s embark on a journey/hike away from their troubles. There they meet a young girl Judy (Lucy Gaskell) with her friends at a dark and creepy place. Unaware of the history of the land there in for a night that will change them for ever into Lesbian Vampire Killers.
Truly I didn’t know what to expect from this film. From the title a b flick and from critics a film covered in mediocrity. And the truth is its kind of worse then mediocre. It’s a pretty lame film that’s try to be a combination of Underworld, Evil Dead, Twilight, Shaun of the Dead and every crazy B movie film that’s ever existed. It puts in a mythological story, crazy blood (which is milk in the film) sequences, cutting of heads, bad humor, banter of the two characters and lesbians. All of this just makes into crazy mix of squat. The film offers nothing exceptional. There are no real funny sequences, no scary moments, effects are meh and everything feels incredibly unoriginal. Their hearts were in the right place but not their witt no their originality.
As bad as film is the performances are all cute and funny. They do a good job with the material. Standouts are Fletch and the priest Vicar (Paul McGann) which you wished were the leading characters as they have the best jokes. But everything else is just boring, The story of the virgin girl out of nowhere falling in love for Mclaren is convetional and crazy as Jimmy looks like Molko from the band Placebo.
Generally Lesbian Vampire Killers is something that ive seen of late of people enjoying the long lost genre of b movies. With films like Grindhouse that cultivate on that lost genre or greek films like the Kako that go all out crazy on the absurd factor. B movies are kind of back. That dosent mean that they are all good. B movies let us remember are usually terrible ideas that are played seriously for comedic effect or just balls to the walls stupid fun. Sometimes though its not taken that way with people pleasuring themselves to any dumb idea they may have and making that to a film. B movies are not my cup of tea and this Lesbian Vampire Killers is no B movie its just a bad movie.
Personal Rating:
Review by Paul
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